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Catalogue Man

Play Catalogue Man

Written and performed by

Math Charlton

Year Written

2003

Year Performed

2003

Length

2.50


Search the song pages

Lyrics

I wish I were,
Wrapped in the sun,
My stomach taut,
Wearing designer wear,
That has not worn like,
A catalogue man,
A catalogue man.

I wish I had,
A Beckham visage,
Good muscle tone,
And above my smile,
A thick shag-pile like,
A catalogue man,
A catalogue man.

They live in a perfect world,
Of girls and boys,
Wanting to look like gods,
But looking like toys,
Like Barbie dolls; like Action Men; like no one can.

So what would you get?
A catalogue girl,
As mundane as you,
So when you look and see,
Who’d want to be,
A catalogue man,
A catalogue man,
A catalogue man,
A catalogue man?

Notes

This song was written on a sunny walk in Southsea, Portsmouth and a demo track completed on Math's return to his flat that afternoon. This more polished version was originally intended to be part of the Loss - Parity - Gain album but was dropped in favour of other tracks. As such, this could be considered a B-side from those sessions.

On 10 July 2017, the song was included as a bonus track on the digital re-issue of Loss - Parity - Gain.